A Love Letter

I read a love letter some time ago written by Rebekah Harriman and it inspired me to write my own…

I would like to thank all my clients, who have shared their lives & stories, and all those people who are in my life professionally and personally and all those who may choose to come in to it..

I think my clients are so brave for seeking support at their most vulnerable times, I think we humans are all strong and courageous in our own way.

We all start off as beautiful human beings and some of us get nurtured and loved and some of us don’t get all that we need. Sometimes bad things happen to people and unkind words or actions wound, but I don’t think this makes us bad.

Life can be hard at times and just like a teddy bear we may gain holes, lose our stuffing, or even worse an eye, ear or limb. Some bears get lost all together and don’t know how or where they should be.

I am a tired little bear today; tired of a society that gives so many negative messages in our work places and schools, tired of a society where it’s not okay to be sad, angry, ill or in pain. I am tired of the idea that you just have to get on with it and you’re not allowed to complain, cry or have a tantrum. I am sick of the “Keep Calm and Carry On” signs I see jokingly placed in all gift shops, I would like to burn them all.

My signs would say “It’s okay if you can’t keep calm, and go into meltdown. It’s okay if you need to burst into tears. It’s okay if you need to go and scream and swear somewhere. You have feelings and you are fully entitled to have them and take your time to work through them. There will be very good reasons for having those feelings.” That would be a very big sign though and you might need a bigger wall for it!

We have become a nation that is often so frantic that we need everything quickly: quick fixes to lose weight in 30 days, a pill to fix this or that, even our food needs to be fast. We certainly don’t seem to make time these days, especially for our emotions and I wonder if most emotions are now seen as negative when really they all tell us something really important if we just took the time to listen and understand them.

We go to such extremes to avoid these emotions that may overwhelm us but I invite you to ignore the pressure to function “normally” when your world may be falling apart. I would like to tell you it’s okay if you are not alright, and if you are feeling emotional then well done, you’re a thinking and feeling human being and not a robot.

Stress and anxiety and depression are influenced by our environment – where we work and where we live – but more importantly by how we live. I wonder how we are expected to ever really function when sometimes we even save time by not eating or sleeping properly How do we expect our relationships to succeed when we just text or email and don’t spend the time talking to the people we have in our lives.

I hate it when I enquire how people are and they tell me they are fine. It tells me nothing at all, it’s the standard response people give. They may as well say “I am not talking to you, I am too busy or I don’t think you have the time to listen”.

We are always more than just “fine”; I am a human and I get sad, I get angry and swear too and sometimes I am happy as well. I allow myself the luxury to feel and think about things, for me just slowing things down means I can cope with what life chucks at me and if I can’t then I take the time to talk to someone, the time to figure it out.

I would like to live in a world where people are not afraid to say how they really are, where we have real conversations and it’s okay if you are not fine.

A world that’s supportive and understanding, where people feel connected, where there are honest and meaningful conversations with people who are happy, sad, frustrated, angry, in pain and every other emotion we can name. A world where fear and shame don’t keep us from seeking the support we may crave or really need.

Trust me; even robots need to charge their batteries or they risk short circuiting or running out of power.

I invite you to take the time to feel your emotions, to explore your relationship with your life and those in it.

With Best Wishes,

Mel